Red Is The ColourTo the dismay of many, and
the apparent apathy of most, Arthur 'Red' Covers came out on top in a closely fought
election. Despite the ease of voting, villagers seemed unwilling to commit and the vote
went down to the wire on the last day.
In his victory speech delivered to a handful of students, Old Age Pensioners and labour
unionists at the Village Idiot, 'Red' promised to use the position to speak on issues that
affect the underclass. "We need to do more for the OAPs, those living on the
government's shabby 75p per month increase. There's a group of Puckering residents who
didn't move here because they were big earners in the City or won an obscene amount of
money on a game of chance. There are people who were actually born here. These are the
workers, these are the brothers and sisters in the village who I am proud to represent.
You won't find them in the tourist brochures, or in the village news, but they're here and
they're the lifeblood of the place."
Neither Wendy Smith nor Nigel Morcombe, who tied for second place, were available for
comment at press time. Colonel Bratherton blamed his poor showing on a perception that he
was an outsider, despite having lived in Upper Puckering for fourteen years. He plans to
retire from politics and devote his energies to reforming school uniforms.
