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The Music Room

Episode 14
Entrance Hall
Dining Room
Breakfast Room
Music Room
View of the Lake


music room

Nigel Twicks: Emma Knytleigh, isn’t it? How’s the research going? Made any amazing discoveries?

Emma: I’ve been concentrating on the more recent past. Trying to get some oral histories done.

Nigel: Yes, I see. Well easier to start there I suppose. I did a lot of the ground work for the earlier stuff you know.

Emma: Yes, I’ve looked through it. It seems there are a lot of questions still remaining, a lot of information that we can look at again.

Frank: Oh, I suppose you’re one of those revisionists. Always re-interpreting history so that you can re-write it according to the current fashion of what’s ‘politically correct’.

Emma: No, I just think you got it wrong.

[Follow Emma to the Dining Room]

Martin: Evening Mr. Tinsley.

Simon’s Dad: Evening.

Martin: Nice weather for this time of year.

Simon’s Dad: A little parky, especially with all the draughts in this house.

Martin: Aye, tomorrow’s supposed to be brighter.

Simon’s Dad: They’re having a hurricane in America.

Martin: I don’t see how people live there.

Nigel Barksley: Who’s the young lady in the fluffy bunny cardigan?

Lumpy Gaites: That’s Wendy, she runs the pet sitting business in the village.

Nigel: Really, so she’s an animal lover! I thought I saw a kindred spirit.

Lumpy: And you didn't even want to come tonight! Do you want me to introduce you?

Nigel: No, I couldn’t do that. I mean you just can’t go up to someone like that, without a reason, can you?

Lumpy: Of course not. What was I thinking? She might think the reason was that you fancied her.

Nigel: Let’s get a drink.

Jackie Collins: Haven’t seen you and Ann together tonight.

Simon: Actually we’ve had another row. We were discussing the possibility of a door between the Breakfast Room and the Dining Room. She said it made sense, and would help the traffic flow, so whilst she was out I did some experimenting with a hammer. She was right, there had been a door there, but was she happy? No. You’d have thought I had put a wrecking ball to Buckingham Palace.

Jackie: Did she think you should have done more research?

Simon: That’s what I was doing! Research. The trouble with academics is that all they do is think, they don’t do. So Ann said I wasn’t serious about the house and things kind of went on from there.

Jackie: You’d think she’d have researched her men as carefully as she does her work.

Simon: Who’s side are you on!

Jackie: Oh Simon, your idea of a thoughtful gesture is a quick pat on the bottom.

Simon: Well I think this will need more than that.

[Follow Simon to the Dining Room]

Phil Porkridge: So what do you do in the West Indies? I understand tourism is booming.

James: Actually I’m a lawyer.

Phil: Really, well I guess you need them too. Drug cases and that sort of thing, I suppose.

James: I work with off-shore corporations and investment companies.

Phil: Nice place to work though. Planter’s Punch at lunchtime and then the beach all afternoon?

James: Funnily enough, I have never learnt to swim.

Phil: Excuse me.  I think I hear my wife calling me.

Nigel Morcombe: So do you play cricket? Fast bowler, hit a few sixes in your day I should think.

James: No, actually I play basketball

Nigel: Really, how unfortunate. American sport isn’t it. Never understood the appeal of the game myself. Not a real sport in my mind unless it’s played on a field. Army man you see.

James: Not really.

Ann: Are you enjoying yourself? You look lost in thought.

Dave Redmond: I have been. Ann, you’ve got to stay involved. You know, it would be such a shame if you left the academic world altogether. You were doing such great work. But of course it’s up to you.

Ann: What about your work?

Dave: It’s going well. I’ve just sent my manuscript on monasticism in southern France off to the press, so I’m hunting around for new ground to cover. Oh, a bit of departmental gossip. Did you know Stan Framton?

Ann:  Stan who collects insects? 

Dave:  The very same.  He was offered the job that I mentioned to you this summer, and has turned it down.

Ann: (laughing): Well at least your office is safe from pestilence.  I'll never forget the time he left those caterpillars in his briefcase at the EHA meeting and they ate his paper.

Dave:  It's good to hear you laugh again, Ann.  You don't seem yourself tonight.

Ann:  So you're still looking, then?

Dave: Indeed we are.

[Follow Ann to the Saloon]

Colonel Bratherton: From the West Indies are you, suppose you’re a great cricketer?

James: No, I hate the game.

Colonel Bratherton: Really! I was in India, you know. Ever been there?

James: No.

Colonel Bratherton: I wrote a book about it. Made most of it up, to be honest. Still you give the public what they want, don’t you. Pander to their prejudices and preconceptions.

James: That way they keep them, they never learn anything different.

Colonel Bratherton: They keep them anyway. People want the little knowledge they have given back to them. It makes them feel comfortable. Like you. Everyone wants you to play cricket, drink rum and talk about the wonderful beaches.

James: And that’s okay?

Colonel Bratherton: Just the way it is. Turn it to your advantage I say. Like I did when I wrote my book.

McGintus Hoole: I just love that one!

Amy: I hadn’t heard it before. Better than the one about the minister, rabbi and priest in a boat…

McGintus:  That's always been one of my favourites too, I must admit.

James: Sweetheart, I think Ann’s looking for you. You look tired.

Amy: I am tired.  Maybe it’s time for us to leave. I’ve really enjoyed meeting you, Father.

McGintus Hoole: The pleasure was all mine.

Shirley: Well Martin, looks like it’s me and you again.

Martin: All right then?

Shirley:  She'll keep her mouth shut, I expect.  I told her I knew a thing or two.  You know, it was a good job Bobby Archer stopped by for tea the other day.

Martin:  Is she moving back with Frank then?

Shirley: Looks like it. It’ll be nice to have the place to ourselves.