| Around The Village In
a meeting held on the 13th at the Upper Puckering Parish Church hall, Wendy Smith
formalised her animal rights group under the acronym PCRUP (Promotion of Creature Rights
in Upper Puckering). Miss Smith acknowledges that animal rights are clearly a global
issue, but wants to focus the group on matters that directly affect animals in the
village. Current membership stands at 57, though it is expected to grow with the impending
birth of Puddles's kittens. (Membership, of course, is not limited to humans.)
Current topics under debate include the recent suggestion by the RSPCA
that animals should wear seat belts while travelling in cars. Miss Smith, speaking for the
group, said, "Whilst we recognise that this is ultimately a safety issue, we feel
that the decision to belt up should be left to the individual animal. We will, of course,
be encouraging our members to wear seat belts and will aggressively pursue those humans
who do not provide the choice for their pets."
Reports that both Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley recently turned out in
a village cricket eleven have raised hopes that one of the celebrity couple may be the
mystery owner of the Grange. Since their recent split, it seems unlikely that the
Puckering Irregulars could gain two new members, and opinion has been divided over which
one would be the preferable addition. Despite the excellent performances of female players
Travers and Burns in this season's Irregulars team, Captain Nigel Morcombe is unconvinced
about having women in the team. "I can’t help it," he noted sourly.
"In my day the women made the teas." Still it seems that other team members are
likely to go to bat for Hurley despite Grant’s evidently decent cover drive and a
engaging performance in Notting Hill.
Pressure is building on the Puckering police to re-open a celebrity
murder from the past. Another story from our man in the West Indies suggests that Fanny
Blake may have been responsible for not only the murder of her husband, but also that of
her daughter's fiancé Edward Morcombe.
The Gazette contacted the West Sussex coroner's office directly but, in his opinion, the
chances of exhuming the grave of a man who died of a fever nearly 200 years ago were
"remote." Descendant Nigel Morcombe seemed unwilling to dig up old news and
labeled the story a dead issue.
Archaeologist Evelyn Prosser announced the unexpected discovery of a
fragmented Roman amphora during her recent excavations at Stoney Grove.
"Although Sir Edmund Orbis was little more than a glorified grave robber, he did find
evidence of Roman occupation in Upper Puckering," notes Prosser. "My recent
find, although out of context, suggests that Stoney Grove may sit on the site of an
outlying villa."
Prosser found the amphora shards mixed in the fill of a water pipe
trench just south of the mansion while looking for evidence of a Georgian garden pavilion.
If you have stories or information that you would like included in the
Gazette please email us at gazette@stoneygrove.com
We are actively seeking contributions to the newspaper. |
