Have a cuppa with Shirley (or Martin)
|Well, hello there. Come on in, dont be shy. I hope you dont mind if I
sit for a minute. Im knackered. Been cleaning the house all day, getting ready for
some company of Miss Simmonss. Two friends from the West Indies, mind you.
Theyll be complaining about the drizzle and damp, mark my words. And the food, no
doubt. None of them funny fruits and beans and rice coming out of my kitchen. Well, okay,
beans in a tin maybe, and some of Martins apples and pears. Theyre delicious
this time of year.
My goodness, did you see that?
The place is crawling with mice! Makes me skin crawl. Get a cat, says I. Get a mousetrap and break their little necks, says Martin. But no, "we cant discuss the house right now," says Miss Simmons. "Itll upset the balance." Like were the bloody United Nations. Havent seen much evidence of balance around here! Sort out your problems by yourself and let us get on with it, is my advise. But as usual, no one is listening.
Johns gone back to Uni. Hes such a good lad; I miss him already and Martin is quite worked up about it. Hes got a lot of work to do by himself now that Johns gone, and with the cooler weather his rheumatism gets worse. Were all getting older, arent we? Not too much longer now, I said to him the other day. He doesnt like to hear it, does he, but theres no escaping. He'll be compost for those bloody vegetables one day.
Did you read the Gazette this week? Whats the world coming to, when grown adults are acting that way? Next thing you know theyll be scratching cats.
And then the piece about Miss Simmons. Well, shes not the best hostess or the most interested in the affairs of the village, but I did think old Twicks was a bit nasty, didnt you? I mean, really. Accusing her of spending all the money, when any fool knows its Tinsley who cant keep 5p in his pocket. And as to being outspoken, I think thats a bit much. Half the time the girl doesnt speak at all. Anyway, she said something the other day about having some sort of house party to make a gesture. All I see is a week of scrubbing floors and dusting furniture. And my cookings apparently not good enoughthey want to hire a caterer. And Martins flowers; apparently not quite the thing. Theyre bringing in a florist. She said it was to promote local business. I told her you cant get more local than Martin and me. Still, it means less work on some fronts, so I shouldnt complain.
Well, theres the kettle. Please stay for a cuppa. I havent mentioned my sales at the shop, and I want to hear all of your news. And have you been down to the Idiot lately? Havent gone myselfthe publican is getting quite nosy asking all those questions about folks! Everybodys minding everybody elses business these days