Emma's Letters to Ann Ann's
Letters
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Dear Ann, Well, if you are an idiot, you’re in good company. I spent 21 hours in gaol. Thank you for bailing me out. I feel like I owe you some explanation about all this and I'm trying to be rational. You obviously had no idea what the consequences of sending me the drug might be, nor that I had been in trouble in the past. When I was quite young I was arrested for using and dealing, and was sent to a juvenile detention centre for two years. I got myself sorted out whilst I was in there, and was released before my seventeenth birthday. They sealed my records when I came of age, but somehow Archer found out about it and has apparently been "keeping an eye out" since I came here. Shirley and I have been at odds for quite some time. She’s just been counting the minutes until she could do something really horrible. Archer must have told her about me. She is still angry with me for telling John about his father, and is even angrier that John and I are becoming involved. It was his cannabis that they confiscated—he eventually found his way to the police and confessed. (Mind you, this was after I was released). So in the end, Shirley only hurt herself by sneaking around and trying to get me into trouble. Twenty one hours in a cell was long enough. As Jerry told me at Brixton, "you have time to do a lot of thinking." I’m sorry I was so nasty to you when you asked about Frank. I think I know what he told you in the letter he sent. Truth is, he hasn’t been in my room for several months now, so the drugs couldn’t possibly have been his. It’s been quite hard. I do care about him. But he isn’t well. Sometimes when I was at the Hermitage I’d wake up and he’d be talking to himself. Not for a minute or two, but for hours. Or he’d sit by the window, just staring off into space. I thought he was getting better for awhile, but he’s not ever going to be well. It all got to be exhausting. Then John turned up. He was around last summer, of course, but I've only recently got to know him. He’s much like Martin, which is surprising, really. Very level headed, comfortable with himself. And he is young, and funny, and we got on really well. I hate to hurt Frank, but I can’t stay with him. With John, everything was so much easier. At least until now. Because his Gran hates me, he’s in trouble; because of him, I got arrested, and because he was covering his ass, I spent time in jail. I swore I would never ever go back again and I am so angry right now at everything. I've just about had it with the Johnson family and I know you didn't mean what you did, but do you realise how much pain this has caused me? Until I sort out what's next, I’m staying in Upper Puckering. Nigel Banks offered to put me up for as long as I wanted. A bit ironic, really, to go from the nick to the Rectory, but here I am, in the shelter of the Church. No one can accuse me of bad living now… Hope your solicitor is a good one. Thanks for the offer of help on that front, but for now it looks like I’m off the hook. I need a few days to clear my head, but will be back to work soon, at least to tidy up loose ends. Emma |