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Episode |
Six |
This page contains most of the content from the main 'story line' characters. It is designed to allow an easy way of keeping up with the story on slow connections (or for reading later). It is, of course, no substitute for the real thing!
Thanks so much for stopping by to check on Martin. It’s ever so nice of you. Well, the old boy is having a lie down. He’s a bit better today. Not too bad, really. Of course we don’t know any more than we did when he went back in hospital. The first tests came back and said he was pregnant, and they had to admit that they’d got things muddled up, though they were unwilling to let it go at first. So they ran some more tests, and said it would be at least a month before the results came back. Imagine that! Well, it’s the National Health Service, isn’t it? With all the cuts these last few years, they haven’t got any money. Just let the old ones go, that’s what they do. As bad as living in America, it is. Ann was telling me that there you get good care if you can pay for it. Well, I have a few pounds left. The other day I says to Martin, " we should go see a specialist." Martin won’t hear of it, says I’m worrying about nothing, but I can’t help it. He’s not right, not himself. John said he’d pay with money from his trust if we needed it. Such a help to us, he is.
Hasn’t had a very nice time of it lately, poor lad. Emma laid him low—don’t get me started on her. He’s better off without her—I believe he knows that himself—but he won’t hear a word said against her. Even now. She doesn’t deserve him. And now she’s run off to live with the Vicar. He’s playing with fire is our Reverend Banks. I’ll never understand it, but you can’t deny that she’s got a certain attraction about her.
Still, John will brighten up soon enough. They’re letting his Dad out of the nick next month. John visits him all the time, and they’ve become quite friendly. I always did like Jerry. Maybe his fingers are a bit sticky, but his heart’s in the right place.
Oh, there’s the kettle. You will stay for a cuppa, won’t you? Good, good. Did you know our Frank’s got a girlfriend?
Simon And Ann
To: Ann
From: CVees
Dear Ann,
Bad news, I’m afraid. I met with the subcontractor yesterday and the estimate for the restoration work in the Saloon is roughly double what you were quoted originally. Seems the dry rot is more extensive than anyone thought. The marble for the repairs on the columns is no longer being quarried, so you may have to purchase some through the antique building materials trade at a substantial mark-up. This also means that the room might not be finished in time for your wedding. I am sorry.
You must be terribly distraught about Emma as well. Mrs. Morcombe told me that Colonel Bratherton told her that Emma is moving back to the Vicarage. Did you have a terrible row? Was it drugs again? Has she left you for good? If you need someone to tide you over, until you can find a replacement for her, I’d be happy to fill in. Just say the word. Maybe we could meet for tea to discuss it?
Yours
Chester
To: CVees
From: Ann
Chester,
Go ahead and get the work rolling—we need the Saloon finished. If it means throwing money at it, we’ll just have to do it. I’m not happy with robbing some other old house for our marble though. Can we find something new that’s close?
I appreciate your offer, but Emma hasn’t resigned. She’s moving out because she and John have split up, but she’s still going to continue working for the Trust. Things have been a bit slow this year on the research front—so much of her time has been tied up working with the film crew. We’re hoping that she’ll be back at it when they finish up later this spring.
Will you join Simon and me for a drink at the Idiot one night this week?
Ann
To: Simon Tinsley, Executive Director, Stoney
Grove Trust
From: Philip Porkridge, Chief Accountant, Stoney Grove Trust
I'd thought I'd warn you that numbers are well down for the year based on our estimates. The Easter weekend gave us a bit of a boost, and I met a nice visitor from New Zealand and another from Malaysia but tourist projections for the rest of the year are very depressing. Even though this is only a small part of the Trust's revenue at this point, we are aiming to use the visitation figures for grant proposals and private funding efforts.
You don't seem to have been around recently or we could have discussed this, but I think we may need to have a board meeting to discuss what to do about the foot and mouth crisis in the countryside.
To: Philip Porkridge, Chief Accountant, Stoney Grove Trust
From: Simon Tinsley, Executive Director, Stoney
Grove Trust
I really don't think there is much we can do about the foot and mouth crisis. Are you suggesting we burn a cow in solidarity with the poor buggars who have lost their whole herds? Or shall I invent a cure? Sorry to be flip, but the stupid thing is it shouldn't really be affecting us. The nearest case is in Kent, the countryside walks are all open, yet even English tourists are staying away and the Americans seem to think the whole place is burning down.
Actually I just had a 'little talk' with Ann. My bookie called because I'd hadn't placed any bets with him for the last couple of weeks. I nearly got away with it since she had no idea what he was talking about but somehow she got the gist. It's not like I was betting our fortune away just a little here and there. Still I don't think the frog racing went down very well, so I swore no more betting with the bookies.
Still not all is lost. I went to the opening day of the cricket season with Peter Willey. It was combined Oxford University v. Middlesex, and he's an old boy. Actually there were lots of old boys around, not as much fun as the footie crowd but we had a good day of it, very civilised.
Cheers
Simon.
To: Ann
From: TheReverend
Dear Ann
I appreciated your comments to me in the village today. Emma is the easiest of guests and she is welcome to stay as long as she wants. One of the few perks that the Church provides is these wonderful old buildings for us to live in, but I do rather rattle around in here. It will be nice to have some company in the evenings.
I know the tongues will be wagging again but it gives them a focus for their gossip. At least they won’t be worrying about me being gay! Really, when I approached the ministry I never intended to do it alone. One always imagined some helpful soul mate standing by one’s side. But the irony of always meeting people is that one never gets to meet people. You can’t even imagine how impossible it is to date while being a vicar. I rather think that the Church thinks that we should start with a mate rather than find one.
Still you have concerns of your own. Please stop by if you ever want to talk.
Nigel Banks
To: Ann
From: AmynJames
Ann,
So, have you chosen a dress? Are you going to be chic or traditional?
Amy
To: AmynJames
From: Ann
Amy,
Thanks for asking. It was a tough choice, but in the end I decided on the Elizabethan Rose. It's a summer wedding, after all, and I wanted something with a bit of history attached. Plus it's absolutely gorgeous, and I never get to wear clothes like that. Haven't figured out the rest of the dresses yet, so am still open to suggestions. Don't worry--no cow outfits!
Love,
Ann
(see Ann's dress at http://www.basia-zarzycka.co.uk/ger.htm)
To: Simon
From: jerry@thenick.gov.uk
Dear Miss Simmons and Mr. Tinsley,
As the end of my incarceration draws near, I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologise for stealing furniture from your house. I know now that it was wrong of me to take your things. I appreciate all that you have done for my son, John White, and his grandparents. I hope that you will not think I’m out of line by asking if you will permit me to visit him at Stoney Grove when I am released.
As part of my rehabilitation they are training me on computers so I now have an email address. The world changes quickly in two years!
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jerry Anderson
Emma: Ann, have you seen Frank?
Ann: I think he and Flo are getting ready to hold a séance.
Emma: Bloody hell. I swear the lot of you encourage him!
Ann: I didn’t. I think it’s really creepy. I told him not to stir things up too much.
Emma: For goodness sake, it’s all in his head. You don’t really think there are ghosts about, do you?
Ann: I’m honestly not sure. I thought I saw one once.
Emma: Then you’re as bonkers as he is. Oh, never mind. I don’t have time to track him down. If you see him, tell him to stop by my room, will you?
Ann: Sure.
Frank: I can’t guarantee anything, you understand. Sometimes they’re all quite talkative, and sometimes they’re silent. Of course I’ve never heard from my mother, but I think I might be able to have someone translate for her.
Flo: Will I be able to hear them speak?
Frank: I don’t think so. Nobody’s ever told me they’ve heard them directly, although I suspect Ann did last year. In her bedroom. She thought it was Emma.
Flo: Have you ever seen them?
Frank: One. She’s quite visible. Shirley, Martin, Ann, they’ve all seen her.
Flo: Well, what does she look like?
Frank: A ghost, of course. All shimmery and translucent. Lots of flowing white robes. Likes to pop up out of the lake. Only ghost I’ve heard of that likes to swim. Are you ready?
Flo: I must admit, I’m a bit nervous.
Man’s voice: Never mind.
Frank: Who’s that then?
Flo: Me. I said I was a bit nervous.
Woman’s Voice: Oh, for goodness sake. We’ll never clear you out of here if you keep nattering on. Frank, what do you want?
Frank: Flo, they’re here. They want to know what we want.
Flo: Well, if it pleases them, I’d like a word with Miss O’Rall. And a stiff brandy!
Frank: She'd like...
Woman’s Voice: I heard her! It doesn’t please us. Why should I talk to you, after you deserted us to run up to London? How was your lady friend? Worth the trip?
Man’s Voice: Come now. Don’t be so hard on the lad. He’s probably been lonely, that’s all.
Woman’s Voice: He doesn’t know what lonely is! Fancy knocking about in this great big hulk of a place with nobody to talk to for nearly a hundred years. Oh, they were around, just too deaf to hear me. Is it any wonder I took up swimming? Kept me sane.
Frank: No offence, but this isn’t really about you right now. Could you get my Mum?
Woman’s Voice: She isn’t here.
Frank: Do you know where she is?
Woman’s Voice: No, I don’t. I’m not her social secretary. She did say something about making preparations, and then she was off.
Man’s Voice: Well, the lady will be frightfully disappointed. She’s having some sort of acting trauma. I’ve been listening.
Woman’s Voice: Yes, well. We do a lot of that, don’t we? Tell her to exude more. Exude warmth, exude charm, exude hospitality. That was the essence of Beatrice Farthingale.
Frank: Did my Mum tell you that?
Woman’s Voice: Heavens, no. She never talks about her work. I read it, though, you see. Just loved Taxi! A delightful story.
Frank: Thanks. I’ll pass it along.
Flo: Frank? Did you reach her? Can she help?
Frank: Let’s go get you that brandy.
Reverend Banks: All right then Emma? Can I give you a hand with your bags?
Emma: I think I’ve got everything. I just need to sit down for a minute. I’ve been packing all morning.
Reverend Banks: Here, let me take that for you.
Emma: No, really. I’m fine.
Reverend Banks: You know it is quite all right not to be fine all the time. You can be sad, you know.
Emma: I’m not sad.
Reverend Banks: But I know you care about John. It must be hard to let him go.
Emma: Well, I guess I am sad, at least a little bit. I couldn’t marry him though. I knew that. And I can’t live here with him right now. He’s angry and upset and I can’t tiptoe around his feelings. I really do appreciate your invitation to come back to the Vicarage.
Reverend Banks: It’s my pleasure, Emma. I love having you as a guest.
Emma: So the gossip goes!
Reverend Banks: But we don’t listen to gossip, do we?
Emma: Well, maybe "we" don’t, but plenty of people were scandalised last time. Is this going to be a problem for you?
Reverend Banks: No. It is not a problem. No problem at all.
Emma: It is quite all right to admit something is going to be a problem…
Reverend Banks: Touche´. Well, then, yes. Some people will find it unseemly that their bachelor Reverend has an unmarried lady as a guest for an unspecified amount of time. Some find it unseemly that such a thing as a bachelor Reverend exists at all. Of course, that’s preferable to a bachelor Reverend who is actually dating, or worse yet, in a relationship. We’re supposed to leave seminary with a wife, you see. Well, I didn’t. People have talked for years. I can’t live my life by their rules. I’ve got to live it as God directs. He shows me the way.
Emma: I see.
Reverend Banks: Shall we go, then?
Emma: Yes, thanks. Nigel?
Reverend Banks: Yes, Emma?
Emma: I still don’t believe. Not really. You should know that about me.
Reverend Banks: Emma, there’s no test to pass with me. Everything will be all right.
Emma: Then lead the way.
Ann: Gary, have you seen Simon?
Gary: Just dropped him off down in the Village. He said he’d walk back.
Ann: How’s the filming coming?
Gary: Haven’t heard. They’re still gadding around London, I think. Archer wanted to get all that out of the way before they came back to shoot the final scenes.
Ann: So you’re free for awhile?
Gary: Free-ish. Been rehearsing. The big love scenes are still coming up. Suzanne and I have played lovers before, but there’s always a bit of nerves about when you’re filming with such emotional intensity. And Archer can’t decide how true to the book we should play it.
Ann: I’m afraid I haven’t read the book. I’ve never been a big fan of romance novels.
Gary: Well, can’t say that I’ve ever had much of a stomach for all this historical stuff. Dry as dust, if you ask me. Still, it pays the bills. At least for me. Must cost you a bloody fortune.
Ann: Yes, it does. Gary, can I ask you something?
Gary: Fire away.
Ann: Have you and Simon been gambling?
Gary: Oh, no. I’m not ratting on my mate Simon. Can’t help you with that one.
Ann: So that’s a yes.
Gary: Well, how about a maybe?
Ann: Was it a lot?
Gary: No, no. Don’t think he put down more than a couple of hundred quid at the Liverpool match. Certainly no more than five hundred anyway.
Ann: Hmm. Great. Thanks.
Gary: Wrong answer?
Ann: Yeah.
Ann: Simon, I've just had a very strange call.
Simon: Male or female?
Ann: It was a man called the "At" if I heard him correctly. He told me to tell you that he had a good line for Newbury this weekend if you were interested. I think he was a bookie.
Simon: Really. Blimey, these phone solicitation things are getting a bit much, aren't they! Gambling now, I don't know!
Ann: I think he said you'd placed bets with him before.
Simon: Oh, the Hat! Sorry, your accent still gets me occasionally. The Hat, old friend, I may have made the odd bet now and again, just a few quid, for a laugh really. It's like Michael Jordan, we can afford it.
Ann: This is what all those emails were about?
Simon: Oh you saw those? Yes, well, he's very enthusiastic.
Ann: We're trying to get the house restored, we're trying to get our wedding planned and you're spending our money on gambling. What have you been betting on and how much have you lost?
Simon: Don't get upset! Really it's probably been one hundred pounds in total since I started, less maybe. Just a few pounds a week on horses and things. Not all losses I may add.
Ann: And things?
Simon: Well there was the frog racing, but that was a one off. Anyway I stopped - no more betting.
Ann: You've stopped, really, no more betting.
Simon: No more betting.
Ann: So I can tell your Dad that you won't be putting a fiver on, I think it was "Happy Cedric," this weekend.
Simon: Dad! Incorrigible, isn't he? In fact let me go and talk to him now. I think I saw him heading down to the village.
Simon: Hello Dad, you look rather spiffy.
Mr. Tinsley: And why not? I'm not that old you know, I could get married again.
Simon: Married! Is this because Ann and I are getting married? It's all right, we talked about it. You can still stay after we're married.
Mr. Tinsley: Of course I'm staying! I'm not moving back to that bloody miserable little house.
Simon: Then why are you talking about getting married?
Mr. Tinsley: I'm just saying I could. That loony fellow is not the only one in this house with charm, I was quite the talker in my younger days you know.
Simon: Frank? He's putting us all to shame, isn't he? I guess I just thought that maybe your days of going out were over. Is this about Mum coming to the wedding?
Mr. Tinsley: No it's not. Mind you it'd really stick it to her if I had one of those young dolly birds on my arm at the wedding.
Simon: Dolly birds? I think if you're going to start seeing women again you'll need to get the language right. No-one gets called a dolly bird anymore.
Mr. Tinsley: Well we'll see about that. Now where's that Flo Blue woman?