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So, haven’t seen you in awhile. Come to lecture me about John, have you? Well, there’s only so much you can do, you know. At some point, they live their own lives, and the messes they make are their own to clean up. Not entirely, mind you. Martin went and got him out of jail. In the middle of the night. That nice Sergeant Archer decided to bend the rules a bit and let him out before they officially opened for business. I think he’s always had a soft spot for John. Well he could have been family, if you see what I mean.

I can’t believe you didn’t hear the story! Been out of town, have you? The whole of Puckering saw, or rather heard, everything. Well, it’s like this. John has been a bit down about Emma for weeks. We thought he’d finally got over her. Been socialising with the actors, even got a bit part in the film. Anyway, he went down to the Idiot with some of the cast for a pint, and good luck to you, I said. That Peter Willey bloke—you know, Reginald in Taxi, nice looking man — finished shooting and wanted a few swift ones to send him on his way. John got to his third or fourth pint and started talking about Emma, and Willey told him to declare his love to the world, let everyone know what’s going on. Actors!

After a few more pints, he decided to tell the whole village his side of things, so he climbed up the bell tower and well… Sergeant Archer had to talk him down and carted him off to jail to sober up. I know it was disturbing the peace and that John deserved to be punished, but I think the whole thing got a bit blown out of proportion, if you know what I mean. You don’t? Well, read the Gazette. No good rag.

So, he’s feeling pretty foolish now, but that will soon pass. The actors are finishing up—Martin’s got his big scene coming up. He’s been practising for months. We’ve worn out three hoses already. Anyway, once that’s done, things should settle down again. And they will, too, now that Mrs. Tinsley has gone back to wherever it is she came from. My, my. It wouldn’t surprise me if Ann decided to cancel the wedding after meeting that one. But she’s besotted, poor girl. Thinks Simon is wonderful, and even had a kind word to say for his Mum. Good to see her happy though. Really. Well, I’m getting a bit dry. Fancy joining me for a cuppa?