Come on in. What a day. I mean, really Godawful. Granddad is in hospital again and Gran has gone to visit him, so I'm here on my lonesome. My girlfriend just told me to piss off. I asked her to marry me, for God sake. Youíd think she could have at least been a bit more understanding, but no, this is Emma. Well, I get it. She didnít have to hit me over the head.
God, what am I going to do? I see her every day. Well, she lives here, doesnít she? I reckon I could move out, get a flat in the villageÖ But I canít, not really. What would Granddad do in the garden? Heís not up to much even when heís feeling well. I do all the work. Not that Iím complaining, I like to do it. But I canít leave him and Gran on their own, can I?
Ah, sheís a bitch. A beautiful, sexy, break-your-heart-as-soon -as-look-at-you bitch. Lifeís a bitch too, you know. Pass me another can of Boddingtons, will you? Cheers.